


Ad necem

by Minyron



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Assault, Blackmail, College Student Lydia, Dead Allison, Dead Malia, Depression, Dubious Consent, Eichenhouse, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hybristophilia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Intimidation, Lydia-centric, Manipulation, Medical Inaccuracies, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Minor Theo Raeken/Stiles Stilinski, Misogyny, Murder, Psychopath Theo Raeken, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Rape/Non-con Elements, Threats, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:35:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5679832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minyron/pseuds/Minyron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia Martin is a brilliant college student under the wing of one of the best psychiatrists in California. She's presented with a challenging criminal case: Theodore Raeken's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a THYDIA work. The steo is minor. There are also scileo/sceo hints. Implied former allydia (platonic or romantic is up to the reader). OC is Lydia's professor and Theo's therapist: Mr Lowenstein. 
> 
> This work is very dark overall on account of Theo's character being an adapted psychopath, though there's not rape per se, everything in the Lydia/Theo relationship is extremely unhealthy. Potential triggers for mental health institutions and disease (alcoholism, substance addiction, depression, dementia, etc). Read at your own discretion. 
> 
> Disclaimer: don't take anything medical here seriously, there are many inaccuracies.
> 
> Title is Latin for "towards violent death"

Lydia paced back and forth in the well-lit corridor of Eichenhouse. She clutched her folder too tightly, close to her chest. Toying with a pen between her fingers, she followed the incessant tapping with her eyes.

“Don’t be nervous”, a familiar, warm voice said.

She looked up, knowing who it was. Doctor Lowenstein, her professor and an eminence among academics in American psychiatry. He had many peer-reviewed articles on behavioral science, a field that both intrigued and intimidated her; her passion. She’d been a bright student herself, logical for a child prodigy. She’d skipped two courses and got into college as soon as the government let her.

The theory itself she had never had a problem with. After entering the medical field of action, actual patients were more of a challenge, but she liked that too, the real world application. It was criminology that made her nervous. It felt dangerous on a visceral level. And Theo was the first psychiatric patient she’d encountered who had a criminal record. She just didn’t know which. A problematic man, for sure.

The firm hand on her shoulder pulled her out of her thoughts. Lydia looked at the man, who appeared much younger than his sixties, handsome and welcoming. His smile was soothing. She liked him a lot not because of his achievements, but because he was actually a very optimistic person, always looking for the best in people. Something psychiatric endeavor, in general, benefitted from. Something she wanted to pursue too, because it was a hard skill to train.

“It’s just a patient like anybody else”, he reassured her, “They’re sick, not evil, remember? We help them get their life back, or manage it. Are you ready?”

“Yes, professor. I’m ready”, she nodded confidently, and cleared her throat.

Soon enough the man walked towards the door and opened it, stepping inside first. She followed close behind, and saw him sit on a chair by the long wooden table. The room was luminous and spacious, with many windows to the gardens. Her attention was quickly caught by the patient, though, sitting opposite to the man.

Lowenstein had said he’d wanted to surprise her; to have her personal impression without much previous knowledge, because he appreciated her insight and clean points of view. But this patient was not just young, he looked about her age. Their gazes locked briefly, and she only managed a weird nod, while he offered a wide smile and raised his eyebrows. Lowenstein hadn’t told him about her, either, apparently.

The older man dragged a chair by his side, and gestured for Lydia to sit down.

“Lydia, this is Theo”, he said, “Theo, this is my best student, Ms Martin.”

“Nice to meet you”, Theo told her, with the same charming smile, “I would shake your hand, but I’m afraid I can’t”, he remarked.

Lydia raised an eyebrow until he put his hands over the table, and she noticed the handcuffs.

Lowenstein smiled too.

“Just a formality”, he pointed.

“It’s fine”, Lydia said, though it came out rough.

Theo just shrugged, turning his head towards his therapist. He gave Lydia a last side glance.

“Well, let’s get to work”, the man said, opening his briefcase over the table, “Have you done your homework, boy?”

*

Time passed quickly. Theo was actually quite pleasant to be around. It was nothing like the other interviews with mental patients. He seemed absolutely fine.

He’d handed in an essay for Lowenstein, and they’d been through it. She read it carefully while the man went over the topics with Theo.  He’d made the younger man –because that’s what he was, she’d learned, counting 22 years of age, _exactly_ hers– watch a TV show and comment on it. He had to point out what he related to with several selected characters, often with very different backgrounds and personalities. In addition, he had to explain what he thought their motivations were, and whether he thought they were right or wrong and why.

The text was nothing extraordinary, even a bit behind for a 22 year old person; perhaps on the level of a high school kid. Thing which, she suspected, _was_ extraordinary. And even if she hadn’t, her professor’s expression gave it away.

It looked like the man was really invested in the case. Lowenstein then wanted to catch up with Theo’s social life in Eichenhouse. That changed the tone to a gloomier note.

Theo let out a sigh, looking melancholy.

“I mean, I really like some of the people here. Nurse Scott, my roommate Stiles, who’s improved so much since he first came in…, I miss Malia”, he continued after an awkward pause, “but it just isn't enough. I feel like I’m missing out on so much… like I have to move on”, he explained, “And, even though I respect your work, other people here are just… nuts. Insufferable, no manic episodes involved.”

Lowenstein laughed again, agreeing with the sentiment. She flinched at the slurs that stigmatized other mental patients, but it also made her realize how normal Theo seemed. Just like another dumb teenage boy or young man. Like he did not belong in a mental institution at all. She hadn’t been able to spot a single thing off with him.

It irked her. Nothing should slip past her. That was her thing.

Before she knew, Lowenstein was already up and nodding acknowledgment at Theo. She stopped chewing on the cap of her pen, placing it on the table, and stood too.

“We’ll meet soon”, the man said, “I’m actually very optimistic about the parole thing.”

Theo’s whole face brightened at that. He looked awkward, and Lydia could swear there was a hint of color on his cheeks. It was really good news for him.

“Thank you so much, Mr Lowenstein. You’ve done so much for me I… I just don’t know how I could ever make it up to you.”

The man shrugged it off, but Lydia could see him swell with pride.

“You do more than enough, kid. Have a nice week”, he told Theo.

“You too”, Theo replied, and then ogled at Lydia before meeting the man’s eyes again; “You should bring your beautiful students more often.”

Something about that rubbed her the wrong way, but she forced a fake smile on.

“Not as beautiful as you, of course, Mister”, Theo added quickly.

Lowenstein let out a chuckle at the exchange and just placed a hand between Lydia’s shoulders, guiding her towards the door. She gave Theo another awkward, weak smile before it closed again.

Lydia felt a bit insecure, even guilty, that maybe she’d been irrationally unfriendly. Distracted, she missed the fact that Lowenstein was already on his way to the doctor’s meeting room.

She hurried, holding onto her folder. She’d forgotten the cap.

*

After the session, Lydia was told everything about the case and Theo’s social sphere in Eichenhouse. His young and tragically demented roommate, Stilinski; the feral Tate girl, who had been his girlfriend and committed suicide; but most of all, his childhood secret.

And she couldn’t give credit to what she saw. The words on the report burned her retinas.

_…The suspect, counting 10 years of age, stabbed his 8 year old sister Caroline Raeken thirty four times…_

_…Blood was found…_

_…Confessed to the crime…_

_…Spent months mute…_

Lowenstein explained it as the reason he wanted her opinion before reading the case, and that it was normal if she had to take some time to put her thoughts in order afterwards. She quickly realized this was probably intended to be the zenith of his professor’s career. “Healing” an alleged _psychopath_ ; Theodore Raeken was his _opus magnum_ , and an invaluable tool against social prejudice. A child murderer reinserted as a functional adult, after more than a decade of institutionalization, close follow-up, and behavioral reeducation.

Lowenstein had begun with Theo when Lydia was 10 years old, too.

She couldn’t think of anything else for the whole day, even back at home. She tried not to be prejudiced. But the pieces of the puzzle she hadn’t known she was piecing together all seemed to fit.  She finally spotted what had been so _odd_.

The _only_ abnormal thing about Theo’s behavior was that it was completely normal. He’d replied the way he was supposed to, every time. He’d written what was expected of him. His gestures were not weird. He smiled, joked the way he was supposed to, showing the emotions he was supposed to feel. He’d always _reported_ feeling the way he was supposed to feel. After all, he’d been depressed after Malia’s –she suspected his girlfriend, or something along the lines– suicide.

Not a single anomaly. No awkwardness, no idiosyncrasies, no parathymia. Not one mistake. Statistically impossible. But nothing tangible to hold against him.

And, perhaps, she was getting ahead of herself. She’d only seen him once. She needed to spot countertransference if it happened, and discard any bias.

More importanty – she needed to keep an eye on her definite attraction for him.    

*

Theo crossed his arms behind his head and lied down on the clean bed, resting on the soft pillow. He’d been especially good that day. He was satisfied: he’d get what he wanted.

The only noises in the room were the running faucet and Stiles’s unconscious mumbling on the other bed. Nurse McCall drenched a rag in cold water, which he was soon wringing over a basin and placing over his roommate’s feverish forehead. His darker hands were gentle over Stiles’s pale skin; paler after so long inside, restrained so much more than physically. Just like the rest of them. 

Theo let the two to themselves, turning to look at the ceiling again and reminiscing his childhood.

He didn’t regret anything but getting caught.

He’d been young and clumsy, had acted without pondering the consequences in a world filled with fools. He’d reacted too late, by shutting everybody out to protect himself. He chose not to speak at all to not screw it up further, and it had worked. It surprised him; in fact, as it had surprised him later on that his parents had not seen it coming.

While it was true he never planned it, as he’d alleged, he’d always been mean to his parents; especially his mother. He didn’t know what the woman had told the police and his therapist, but he suspected not much. She’d liked to live in denial, even when the signs had clearly been there. And after he was institutionalized, she hadn’t paid him a single visit. No one blamed her.

His father had just hung himself.

After all, not every child guts animals for fun. Nearly no child takes his annoying little sister to the woods and ends her life with a kitchen knife.

If he’d had more understanding, he’d have waited. He’d lost so many years and opportunities. He was still wasting his life, locked up with a bunch of dimwits and batshit people. He could have acted like normal kids do, really could have, even if he hadn’t cared for it.

He cared for nothing.

But all in all, it was okay. Because normal kids grow into functional adults, which was what he was now. Functional. Changed. Normal. _Better_.

That’s what everyone had to believe. Especially Lowenstein.

Stiles writhed and let out a scream of pain, lost into a nightmare, while Scott held him down. Theo’s smile didn’t reach his vacant eyes.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia tries to gather more evidence to confirm her suspicions.

As the possibility of Theo’s parole looked more factible, their sessions became weekly. Theo kept writing on the different topics through which Lowenstein assessed his progress, and it was as positive as it had been for a long time. The young man was collaborative and hard-working like no other. It surprised Lydia, because his assigments were boring, but yet he was vibrant in every meeting.

“What can I say doc, I get motivated when I’m in such good company”, Theo said cheerfully.

In the next few sessions, Lydia was thorough and noted down everything that she could use, aside from what she had to note down for her actual work under Lowenstein. She was very meticulous about monitoring Theo’s responses: the way he spoke, the timing, his gestures; which she later studied in private. Her first impression was soon more than a mere subjectivity, with clear patterns emerging.

Theo was playing Lowenstein’s hopes against him in very clever ways. Which was, again, evidence in itself, seeing as Theo surely dumbed down his assignments on purpose. She thought it was probably a way to give himself more room of maneuver. The less intelligent people thought he was, the more he could play them in his favor. But not her.

Such close observation also meant that she kept a literal eye on him. Eventually, Theo noticed, and often looked right back – especially when the professor wasn’t aware. At first it was mostly curiosity, or amusement, that she saw. However, when he noticed Lydia was looking _far_ _too much_ the amusement turned into skepticism.

Theo frowned at her, but she just shrugged it off and looked down at her notes.

 _Good, let him him know_ , Lydia thought, underlining a few key words, _that will make him nervous_.

 _Nervous = clumsy_.

*

Theo’s stares went from playful ogling to hardcore leering, now that he had the excuse to look more; of course, when they were not watched. It all became more clear. She was onto something _real_.

That is how she found herself interviewing most of the people in Theo’s social circle. She told Lowenstein it was just a way to get more in touch with the case, understand his point of view better. Empathize. Of course, the man agreed wholeheartedly, and indeed pointed her towards a bunch of people.

The first person she talked to was Donovan Donati, a _cliché_ sociopath with aggression issues. She wondered if Lowenstein wasn’t pulling her leg. To think _that_ dude had wanted to be a cop made her almost laugh out loud.

All in all, Lydia found him much less funny in person, from the moment he opened his mouth. She took a deep breath and told herself being uncomfortable was worth it if it meant getting the job done. 

 _“What do you mean our_ relationship _, baby, I’m not friends with that asshole…?”_

_“Conflictive? He’s such a brown-noser. I bet that faggot’s fucking his therapist to get out. But he’s a total psycho. Possessive with Stilinski, so weird and gay. And I think he killed that Tate skank.”_

_“So are you gonna give me your number or not?”_

She’d wanted to kick him in the balls.

Lydia had to take a break and wash her face in the doctor’s bathroom before continuing. It was the last time she put on that much make up in Eichenhouse. Fuck slurs, it was true some of the patients were just morons. At least she should’ve gotten some valuable information. She’d just wasted her time with a horny asshole.   

Thankfully, the next patient wasn’t horny or an asshole. Meredith, a formerly alcoholic girl detoxing from substance abuse. Lydia admired her spirit, but she was extremely slow, and it got on her nerves despite her patience. All she got from her was that she was Malia’s – the Tate girl’s – former roommate, and that she liked church organs. She said she stayed away from the boys, because they were too much trouble.

She tried to get information regarding Malia, but it was all very vague and took a longer time than intended, so she thought to ask the next person instead. Jordan Parrish, the policeman in charge of Theo’s section. He was bound to know the story from the inside. And he was much more reliable.

She regretted messing her make-up. She found she actually liked the guy a lot. He was handsome, funny and very easy-going. He quickly agreed to the interview and invited her to a capuccino from the machine in the cafeteria.

Unlike the others, he actually had useful information. She nodded with interest.

“I… I think Theo’s gone through a lot. He’s a good kid, one of the most promising I’ve seen in a long time. I think he blamed himself for Malia’s death. He was down for a long time.”

Lydia felt it would be hypocritical to agree with that, so instead she changed the subject.

“You two sound close”, she pointed, looking at him inquisitively.

Parrish let out a laughter, and looked thoughtful at the corner. He considered her words and looked back at her.

“I guess some of the kids you just grow fond of. After all we spend so much time with them… see them grow”, he explained, “Lowenstein’s so proud of his progress, and we’ve all been witness to it.”

Lydia smiled at him as sincerely as she could. He still looked thoughtful, frowning.

“Not others though. That son of Donati is horrible. I got to work with his dad, back in the day… not even Lowenstein could make him into something”, he argued, taking a sip from his lidded cup.

“Ugh, don’t even get me started. I had to talk to him today”, she replied with a smile.

Parrish spat the coffee, and she hurried to get him a napkin.

*

“Hey, doc, can I ask you something?”, Theo said cautiously. He looked up from his blank paper and met his therapist’s eyes.

“Sure, buddy. Is something bothering you? You’re distracted.”, the man said with a frown.

Theo cleared his throat.

“Does… Does Ms Martin have something against me? I’ve noticed the way she looks at me sometimes. Most times, actually. And she’s talked to Scott. Did I do something wrong?”, he asked apologetically.

Lowenstein stopped scribbling at the mention of Scott, looking surprised at Theo. He seemed scared.

“Hey, hey. You’re doing just fine”, he reassured him, “you have nothing to worry about. I’ve noticed it too, but I don’t find a reason. I don’t know, I must be old, but sometimes women are beyond me.”

Theo let out a laugh at that. “You don’t say.”

Lowenstein smirked and looked up at him. “Maybe she just likes you. I’ve never seen her be nervous around anybody else. Bah, she knows you’re no threat to anybody.”

Theo looked down shily, and Lowenstein could feel him blush. Sometimes he thought of the kid as the son he’d never had. He was fond of him.

“I don’t know about that”, Theo chuckled. 

*

Lydia shouldn’t have talked to Stiles. Lowenstein had warned him that the boy had really good and really bad days. It just so happened to be one of the _really bad_ ones.

First, he’d tried to flirt with her. Stiles called her _so pretty_ and tried to kiss her. After he’d settled down from his sedatives and could talk, he got anxious again at the mention of Malia, and said something very strange. She couldn’t get the words out of her head.

_I… I dunno. I really liked her. She was good to me. But now Theo is good to me. If he’s happy, I’m happy. He makes me happy. He didn’t like her. Perhaps that’s why she had to go?_

Malia had committed suicide, Lydia knew, but Stiles’s comments sparked her curiosity on exactly the type of relationship the roommates had. And perhaps a darker version of the events. She wanted to get more clues from Scott, Stiles’s nurse, but then she found condoms on Stiles’s nightstand and a bottle of lubricant on the floor.

She went with condoms in her hand to Scott, instead, confident she had what she wanted.

“Excuse me, Mr… _McCall_ ,”, she said, looking at the name in the scrubs, “but I’m pretty sure this constitutes sexual abuse. That these two patients have sex regularly goes against so many rules I couldn’t list them all. How did this slip past his nurse?”

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and let out an aggravated sigh. He looked at her with sympathy and turned his back to close the door, returning quickly and offering her a chair. He sat close to her in another one after she’d sat down herself.

“Look, Ms Martin”, he started, making a dismissive gesture with his hand, “I know everything’s very obvious in paper. That’s the theory you all like so much. But when you have to be down _here_ ”, he said, taking off his gloves, “you start knowing how to actually do the job. We learn to individualize.”

Lydia was taken aback by that. She hadn’t meant to come off as an elitist to the nurse at all.

“That’s not what I meant”, she said, “I’m sure you’re perfectly competent at your job”, she continued, harsher than intended, “but I don’t really see a scenario where this benefits the patients.”

“That’s precisely what I’m saying”, Scott replied, “You’ve been here what, a month? You have no idea how things work”, he added, as his tone lowered to barely a whisper.

He leaned in, “things in the male section are not that safe for skinny, defenseless pretty boys when we have a bunch of hormonal, violent teenagers.”

He leaned back in the chair.

 “I know what’s best for Stiles, Lydia. He’s so much better now. You don’t know how it was. God, was it bad”, he said, as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Theo’s not raping him, if that’s what you thought”, Scott added weary, “I _would_ know”

Lydia was honestly surprised at her own naiveity. She hadn’t paid any mind to that kind of… dynamic. She opened her mouth but found herself at a loss for what to say.

“Um…”

“Yeah”, Scott said, getting up and looking at her without his usual mirth, “so, doc, if you want to report, go ahead. You’re in your legal right. But know you’ll not be doing Stiles any favors.”

“Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do”, Scott said.

He left the room with a bang, before she could respond.

She felt guilty. She wondered if she wasn’t actually letting prejudice color her judgement.

Exactly how far was she willing to go? She needed to digest it all and make a decision.

*

Scott checked on Stiles short of midnight, like every night. After he finished noting down the usual numbers, he put the folder away.

“I had such a good day today, Scotty”, Stiles said dreamily.

“That’s great to hear, buddy”, Scott replied with a smile, ruffling his hair.

Stiles closed his eyes, looking peaceful and smug.

“Now, let’s put on the restraints…”, Scott said, reaching behind the bed for the tight rope and the handcuff-like pieces.

“No, dad…”, Stiles said, frowning but not opening his eyes.

“Actually”, Theo said in a steady voice, “Why don’t you leave them off for now? I’ll put them on myself. Later”, he added, “If Stiles wants to, of course.”

Stiles opened his eyes at that, looking sideways at Theo, who was in the other bed. He raised his eyebrows, and then looked at Scott like a child on Christmas’s day.

“Please? Can we, can we?”, he pleaded.

Scott seemed conflicted for a second, but just rolled his eyes.

“Fine”, he said, dragging the word, “But when Theo puts them on, you have to be good, okay?”

“I’ll be so good”, Stiles said enthusiastically.

Scott loved Stiles’s smile. He just wanted what was best for him, even if it wasn’t orthodox.

Theo sat up, looking at Scott with a smirk and taking off his sweatshirt. He came out of bed and walked over to the other bed. The nurse didn’t move an inch. Finally, Theo invaded his space, fixing him with an intense stare.

“You know”, he said, feeling Scott’s crotch through the scrubs, and licking his lip as Scott’s breath hitched, “you can always stay.”

Scott swallowed pointedly.

*

Lydia couldn’t stop herself from ratting Theo out.

“So this is what it was all about. And why you talked to that nurse”, Lowenstein said, “Lydia, Stiles is not even our patient.”

“But Theo is.”, she remarked, “Does that mean we let everything slide?”

Lowenstein let out a deep sigh.

“You know, he was right. Listen to your elders, that’s where experience is. It’s not about letting anything slide. It’s about being reasonable. He’s some other doctor’s patient, and under the care of Scott, who presumably could tell if he was being abused.”

He looked at her with a disappointment she wouldn’t forget in a long time. Lydia didn’t know well how to reply to that. In for a penny, in for a pound.

“You still give Theo far too much credit. You’re unwilling to see his game because you’re personally invested. All that I pointed out, it’s there.”

He denied with his head, and brought a hand to his forehead, taking a deep breath.

“Ms. Martin. What you pointed out is your own interpretation and guess, but I’m sure you know deep down you have nothing of worth. And he did not kill Malia, for Christ's sake. I appreciate the honesty, but…  you may want to check your motivations”, he accused defensively.

“Confirmation bias…”, he mumbled bitterly, echoing her.

“But I…”, she tried to speak, as he raised a hand to stop her.

“I trust _Scott_ with Stiles, not Theo. But even if I did. I’ve been with this kid since before you knew what transference was. Everyone you talked to spoke well of him. I don’t care he’s having sex with his roommate. In fact I’m not that surprised, other than I never thought he was into boys. Theo should be _outside_ ; when you’re locked in with dysfunctional people you end up doing dysfunctional things”, he ranted, “And if you care so much about Stiles, you sould know he was almost raped by the Donovan kid. Scott intervened. It was in the showers.”

Lydia did not know that. Scott’s account made so much more sense now.

She remembered his words.

 _I_ would _know_.

“And since Theo’s _protecting_ him, the only thing Donovan’s raping is his right hand”, Lowenstein pointed.

There was an awkward silence to follow that.

“I did not want to say this, but perhaps you’re unfit for the case. I fear you’ve let your own emotions cloud your judgement. Your efforts are misplaced, young woman.”

She felt incredibly frustrated. She felt angry. She could’ve predicted this.

 _He’ll fool everyone_.

But she realized she was disarmed. She’d been sloppy, acted on impulse, and was actually lucky Lowenstein was so comprehensive. That she hadn’t just ruined an innocent nurse’s career. She took a deep breath.

“…Unless you’re willing to let this go?”, he offered on a conciliatory tone, looking up at her. His eyes looked tired.

“I will”, she replied quickly, “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Ms. Lowenstein.”

“It’s alright”, he said, coming down quickly from his earlier animosity, “you’re young, Lydia. You still have a lot to see. Not everything is black and white. The world, it moves in the shades of gray.”

Something about that scared her.

“If that’s all, you can call it a day. Be back here, tomorrow, at 8.”

She just nodded.

*

“Yeah, baby”, Theo whispered against Stiles’s long neck, “Do you like that?”

Their sweaty, naked bodies slid together as Theo thrusted into Stiles. They were having sex on Stlies’s bed, where he was lying on his back. Stiles’s arms were extended and secured by the restraints. His legs were up in the air, spread wide, making enough room for Theo.

Above him, the young man rolled his hips in slow motions, adding pressure against Stiles’s prostate. He squeezed his fist around the boy’s hard length. An obscene noise came out of Stiles's throat. Helpfully, they were silenced by the rags Theo’d put in his mouth to gag him.

Scott looked at them from the door, mesmerized, with a hand moving inside his loose pants.

The only noises in the room were the snaps of Theo’s hips against Stiles’s skin and their labored breathing. It didn’t take long for him to come. His schedule was so tight he had no time to get off other than a few stolen hours. Usually nights like these.  

He quickly grabbed a tissue to salvage the mess he’d made.

Afterwards, Scott grabbed his things as Theo increased the pace and gave little grunts. Scott left without a word, closing the door silently. No one was in the corridor at that time. He was confident that Theo would take care of Stiles.

Inside the room, Theo’s expression changed as soon as Scott was gone, and he let go of Stiles’s dick. He sat up, removed Stiles’s gag from his mouth and cupped his jaw. He dug his thumb into Stiles’s flaccid cheek, baring his teeth from above. Stiles looked up at him doe-eyed, and he felt his cock twitch.

Theo slapped his ass cheek suddenly, looking down at him like he was prey.

“Watch your fucking mouth when you talk to strangers. That bitch’s out to get me”, he said, “If I’m gone, you’ll go right back to Donovan. I bet he doesn’t use lubricant. Do you want that?”, Theo said angrily.

Stiles denied with his head, eyes watery.

“I’m going to fuck you hard, sweetie”, Theo announced, as he removed his hand to grab both the boy's thighs and spread them further, “make you come untouched or not at all”.

He started ramming into Stiles with a frenzy. Stiles bit his tongue, as trained, trying not to scream too loudly. He knew the punishment.  


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia's plans to expose Theo backfire horribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Theo are closer to a face-to-face :)

One of the things Lydia had quickly picked up during her college years was that, despite the equal working opportunities, even academics had a long way to go in terms of gender equality. Sexist language and remarks were everywhere, including conversations between her peers and superiors. It did irk her inner feminist, but it also angered her on a visceral level.

For instance, when Lowenstein laughed off Theo’s remarks as _normal for young men_. Even if they were commonplace, she hated it. It made her wonder what they would talk _behind_ her back.

Luckily, she saw the chance to use the annoying trend against him. If he really saw women only as pretty things, then all it would take would be a simple question to leave him in evidence. Evidence that, ‘old-fashioned’ as Lowenstein was, he would find hard to gloss over.

“Theo, I forgot to tell you, I really liked yesterday’s commentary”, Lowenstein said, nodding at the paper in front of him, “I don’t think I’d been so insightful myself”, he laughed.

Theo smiled and took back the sheet, placing a spread palm over it.

“That’s just because you didn’t do the research, I’m sure”, he replied as he shrugged.

“No, I mean it”, Lowenstein elaborated, “I think you really managed to empathize with her motives. It was a very nuanced character and there were layers to her the average acritical consumer of media would never spot.”

Theo was about to say something when Lydia looked up from her own tablet, chiming in.

“Oh, professor, this could actually be interesting for Theo”, she said casually, as she got both men’s attention, “look at this week’s challenge from the university webpage.”

Lowenstein put on his glasses and turned his head to read. When he leaned back, he took off his glasses again and let out a sigh. He knew she what she was up to, that she hadn’t let it go completely. But it was something simple, not anything extravagant, so what was the harm? 

“Sure, go ahead”, he said defeated.

Lydia smiled, putting down the device. She placed her elbows on the table, and read.

“Theo, _who’s your favorite strong female role model and what do you admire about her?_ No fictional characters this time. Just, anyone you look up to, I guess.”

Theo squinted his eyes at her, mouth agape.

“Well…”

She felt her heart race. That was it, he hadn’t seen it coming. This was not something he could prepare beforehand, and he’d surely say something that she could use against him. She was quite sure he didn’t even pay attention to older, achieving women.

“Umm…”, he pondered.

Her grip on the pen was tight, knuckles becoming white.

“I… would have to say Viola Davis?”, he replied hesitantly, but more sure of himself each second, “not only does she stand for her people but for a whole new concept of female leads as an actress. She’ll open the door for many other talented women, I’m sure. But what I admire the most is how she grew past a very difficult childhood”, he paused, looking more intently at her, “It takes so much more effort to shine in a world that is trying to tear you down constantly. Only the strongest can do it.”

Lydia was rendered speechless. She knew he must have underrepresented his intelligence, but she just did not expect that level. She’d unerestimated him far too much. Lowenstein couldn’t hide his laughter, though he still tried to cover up by scribbling nonsense in his session papers.

She didn’t feel like laughing, though. She felt terrified.

Theo leaned back on his chair, a wry smirk as he played with his own pen between his fingers.

*

Lydia was tempted to drink again that night. But she didn’t, because she’d made a promise to herself – a promise to Allison – and she couldn’t let Theo get to her. She poured the bottle of vodka down the drain, looking absent-mindedly at the flowing liquid.

She’d find a way to expose him, so Lowenstein could see him for what he was. She was smart, and she was sure that she could outsmart him. Whatever it took. It was that important, and that had been made evident by his defense.

Or would she? Was it so evident? What if it was all in her head, a budding obsession? All she really had was a strong dislike for the young man, and a few subjective intepretations that a seasoned therapist considered worthless. She couldn’t diagnose anything.

She’d been so sure during the day, when she had her armor on, when she had so much to show for. She knew she was the best student, and she would be the best professional.

But back in her apartment, in her pyjamas, and alone, she felt uncertain. A diploma was just a piece of paper and ink, and her mind was a scary place at times.

She was shaking as she looked at herself in the mirror, grabbing the edges of the sink. She _saw_ her own uncertainty in the messy reflection of her face.

She had to take a tablet of diazepam before she went to sleep. Rolling in bed, she couldn’t get Theo’s charming smile and his dangerous stare out of her head.

Eventually, she gave up. She couldn’t fool herself. One of her hands made it to her hardened nipple, and another slid down her panties, below the soft fabric. She thought of stronger, bigger hands doing the same to her, baring her neck to that danger.

Minutes passed she shook for a completely different reason, and found herself more relaxed.

However, her sleep was not peaceful. Infested by nightmares, she saw Allison again.

_Why didn’t you save me?_

*

A week later, Lydia’s confidence was back. She had asked for a sick day, and made up her mind as she continued in her pursuit of the truth. That’s what she was into the sciences for. She felt bad about the possible collateral damage, but it was minor compared to the benefit. She was doing the right thing.

She was sure.

Her hair was shiny, in a bun, and she played with strands of strawberry blonde. She stood by the light switch in Lowenstein’s meeting room.  Lydia really liked the dress she’d chosen that morning, a floral pattern with bright red and soft blue colors. She’d put on less make-up, just enough for the occasion.

She felt sure. So she waited patiently. And, eventually, the time came.

“Professor, we need your help!”, Scott screamed, bursting into the room.

He startled the older man. Lowenstein turned around, and Lydia played along.

“What’s wrong?”, she asked, faking surprise.

She turned towards Scott, waiting for him to catch his breath. The nurse took a hit of his inhaler before replying, giving Lowenstein time to get up and come to Lydia’s side.

“Theo and Donovan, it’s bad, follow me!”, he explained briefly, already running away.

Lydia and Lowenstein exchanged frowns, and went after him.

*

When they arrived at the cafeteria, people were making a circle around one of the tables, and Theo and Donovan were fighting besides it.

Theo had the latter pinned to the ground, and he was straddling him. Next to them was an unfortunate tray with spilled food and drink around. There were also splatters of blood in the white tiles.

More relevantly, Theo was punching Donovan violently, teeth bared and a deadly stare as he delivered blows to his jaw. There was a scrape on his cheek, and a few drops of blood slid down his face. His expression showed distilled anger.

“You’re gonna regret it, motherfucker”, he spat out, “I’m gonna kill you!”

Lydia followed Theo’s right arm with her eyes, internally ecstatic. A tooth was sent flying when the strongest punch until the moment connected. Donovan seemed amused, but when the blood pooled on his mouth, his laugh turned into gargles. It also spead on the floor around them, and after a few more hits he was unconscious.

Parrish and more guards came soon, right behind them.

“STOP IT, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!”, the deputy finally screamed, getting a hold of Theo, who jerked away on instinct.

Parrish and another one of the guards had to reduce him, fighting against his incessant kicking and writhing. He made angry noises and spat on Donovan, but finally seemed to react to Parrish.

He blinked a few times and looked like a completely different person. Like he was just becoming aware of what he’d done.

 _Good_ , Lydia thought.

Scott was quick to attend to Donovan. He obviously needed assistance from more nurses and other workers. A doctor quickly arrived, and they started working on him.

Lowenstein was looking at the blood horrified. It took a few seconds for him to get out of his trance, and he cleared his throat.

“Can someone explain what happened?”, he demanded, sounding angry. He looked around, intimidating every body in the cafeteria.

Parrish handcuffed Theo, and dragged him forcefully towards Lowenstein. His hair was disheveled, he had that small cut on his cheek and his black sweatshirt was stained with blood. He looked like a criminal.  

Lydia smiled haughtily at him, and Theo bit his lip, letting out a long exhale. He was still catching his breath. He looked furious, and briefly shied his gaze away before fixing her again with a death glare. 

There was a tense silence before a girl started crying.

“It’s my fault, it’s all my fault”, Meredith said, between sobs, as she walked towards them, “Lydia I just can’t do it… Boys are so stupid…”

Lowenstein looked at Lydia accusatorily, as her eyes widened with surprise. She froze, mortified.

Everything could be ruined.

Theo frowned and licked his swollen lip, curious.

*

The evening didn’t go anything like Lydia had imagined. It felt like being under detention. Theo was still handcuffed, with the blood stains drying on the front of his sweatshirt, sitting opposite to Lowenstein. He’d been made to tell his account of the fight to the professor.

Lydia, however, was resting on the wall. Behind his teacher, she found herself on the same spot she’d been in the morning, by the light switch.

Now, however, she didn’t feel nearly as confident.

She played nervously with her strands, pulled, and it was almost painful. She waited anxiously to see how it all unfurled: she wasn’t sure of what it would mean for Theo, but it couldn’t be good news for her. She looked down because she couldn’t stand to meet his eyes.

Parrish was also in the room, pacing around nervously. He looked at Lydia like she was the biggest disappointment in his whole life, and at Theo like he was a wounded puppy.

She knew it was only a matter of time. Eventually, he exploded, but it still startled her.

“Do you have any idea of what you’ve done? Given alcohol to an addict, set back someone’s record, and for what, what the h- ?”, Parrish blurted out, interrupted by Lowenstein.

“Enough!”, he said, turning back briefly to give both an angry look, “This is not about Lydia right now!”

She had a glimmer of hope.

Parrish brought a hand to his face and scratched down his cheeks and jaw. He licked his lip, trying to remain in control. He let out a sigh and looked away from Lydia, crossing his arms over his chest and deciding to look at Theo instead.

“So, then”, he told the young criminal – _his friend_ –, “Is there anything you want to add in your defense?”

Parrish hadn’t talked to Theo for the whole time other than rough commands. Theo looked up at him, surprised, and he gaped. He didn’t speak, but stuttered, and then he started crying.

Fucking _crying_.

Parrish seemed taken aback by that, and Lowenstein massaged his own temples, looking down at his paper.

“I’m… I’m sorry”, Theo said, wiping away the tears with his long sleeve, “I… I just”, he said, looking at Lowenstein, “I know I fucked up”, he concluded, voice dropping low.

Parrish swallowed, taking a step forward, but he didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at Theo.

“You’ve been so patient with me and I’ve wasted your time, doctor”, Theo said, talking to Lowenstein now, “I… I’m so thankful, I wish I could make it up… but I know I can’t…”, he added with watery eyes.

The older man’s stance changed. He leaned in, took Theo’s hand in his, softly.

It was quite the contrast. Theo’s hand was young, but his knuckles were still bloody and scratched. Lowenstein’s were wrinkled, old age visible, but they were gentle over Theo’s. The older man spoke with a calming voice.

“You know, there’s always…”, he started,

“… _tomorrow to be better_ ”, Theo completed the man’s sentence, speaking in unison.

Lydia swallowed as her hopes were crushed. She looked nervously at Parrish, whose eyes seemed watery too. She couldn’t believe they were buying into his bullshit.

“Mr. Lowenstein…”, Theo said hesitantly, looking into the man’s eyes with a sincere expression, “you’re like a father to me.  And I don’t want to do to you what I did to my real father…”, he went on, looking away as a tear rolled down his cheek, “I don’t want more people hurt because of me… maybe you should stop trying.”

Lydia scoffed, drawing everyone’s attention. She pointed at Theo, looking at Parrish like he was insane. On the contrary, he looked back like something was wrong with _her_.

“Your father killed himself because you murdered his daughter”, she spat out, “He did not abandon you.”

Lowenstein turned around suddenly, as his chair made a loud screech. He gave him a piercing stare.

“Lydia…”

“You know what, you’re right”, Theo interrupted, looking up at her, clearly upset but not too loud, “I killed my sister, and my _mother_ abandoned me. She hasn’t seen me in 12 years, since the trial, do you know how that feels?”

“Like nothing, I bet”, she blurted out.

Theo scoffed, “Like _I’m_ nothing”, he retaliated, “Tell me, what is your fucking problem? What is this great justice you want? Would it make you happy to see me fried in the electric chair for something I don’t even _remember_ doing? Would it make you sleep better at night?”, he spat out, bile rising quickly along with his tone.

“I don’t know”, she said, “I’m not sure you deserve to live, and I don’t get to decide that. All I know is your _sister_ did, though.”

“That’s _enough_ ”, Lowenstein blurted, angrier than she’d ever seen, punching the table.

 It startled Theo, too. Parrish looked furious, and he raised his index finger at Lydia, coming close to her,  but he didn’t get to speak. The alarm went off.

He frowned and opened the door just as Scott was running down the corridor again.

“It’s Stiles this time!”, he yelled.

The policeman left without a word, and took the guards outside with him. Lowenstein got up, and strode towards the door giving Lydia a very severe look. He stopped at the door, his head turned towards hers.

“I’m sure you already guessed, as smart as you are, but you’re suspended from the case and from my service. The only reason you’re not kicked from the program is because Meredith didn’t relapse and Parrish doesn’t want to take this to his superior”, he informed her, “Don’t think of it as a personal favor from my part.”

“Alright”, she replied. She tried to sound assertive, but it came out weak and just _wrong_.

She hadn’t realized she was crying, too. The door closed with a bang, and she was left alone with Theo.

 _Theo_.

Her breath hitched when she saw the young man had already gotten up, handcuffs discarded in the wooden table. He walked around the side closest to her, in sure and slow paces, until he was directly in front.

She felt crowded against the wall. Theo’s expression had completely changed, no tears to be seen. His eyes were slightly injected in blood, and the cut was there, but he didn’t look vulnerable or angry. His expression was twisted by his smile.

There was not enough space, there was not enough _air_ in the room as he leaned in, stopping barely an inch away from her face.

“Don’t be fooled”, he said in a steady tone, “you almost got me there, but I now I know _exactly_ what you’re up to”, he added amused, “I’d been curious for a long time.”

It gave her goosebumps. She wanted to speak, to scream, but the sounds didn’t come out. Her throat felt tight, and there was a heat was pooling in her stomach.

Theo suddenly put a hand on her thigh, brusquely, and quickly slipped it under her dress. She looked at him with wide, frightened eyes, and his uncanny smile widened.

“I know what you want”, he whispered, leaning in, and sliding his hand up her thigh, “You’re confused and scared. Contrary to belief, it’s people like _you_ who are empty, hollow… defective”, he continued.

She closed her eyes. The heat of his hand traced the lines of her panties, fingers dragging across,  and she knew he could tell how wet she was.

Theo let out a very low laughter.

“You’re right about me. But it’s not a bad thing, even if you don’t realize that yet. It’s just what you _need_ ”, he said roughly, breath ghosting over the shell of her ear, “you need someone better than you, to fuck you up, to ruin you. To fill that void”, he said, dragging his thumb over her clit through the fabric, “And that’s what I’d do to you. Nothing like fear in a pretty girl’s eyes. I would know.”

“Stop”, she begged, the faintest whisper.

Lydia was paralyzed when she felt the shiver down her spine. She bit her tongue to stop a moan from coming out, feeling very removed from reality. Like distant echoes, the realization hit her there was motion in the corridor again. All she could focus on was his words. Everything else had been so silent.

Theo took a step back. He looked at her from head to toes and seemed to take joy in her erratic breathing. Then, he walked slowly back to his chair, sat comfortably, and put the handcuffs back on.

All she could do was follow his steps with a dumb stare. She was too wrecked to think straight, a thousand different feelings and ideas making a storm in her brain. The most salient one, though, was the arousal of _danger_.

Theo dedicated her a last smirk before Parrish came back through the door. He did not even look at Lydia.

“Stiles is fine now”, he said, out of breath, “you can come see him if you want, Theo. Donovan was threatening to cut his throat after your fight, but he fainted.”

“Oh my god. Sure, I’ll go, did he hurt him?”, Theo said in a concerned tone.

He got up and walked around the table, in the opposite direction he had a minute before. Parrish started going away, not losing as second. He made gestures for Theo to hurry up.

“No, thankfully not”, he replied from the corridor.

“I’m so glad”, Theo said loudly, giving Lydia a last side-glance at the door.

She was still trying to get a hold of her own breathing.

“Poor Stiles”, he said with a mocking tone, “…you should leave now”, he remarked cheerfully, “No one believes you anymore. Though I have a feeling we’ll meet again.”

He didn’t wait for a reply. Lydia hit the back of her head against the wall, letting out a scream of frustration. At least she was alone in the room, and couldn’t ruin it _further_.

Nevertheless, she was out of luck.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo and Lydia start an unlikely relationship.

Lydia couldn’t stand the idea of going to university after Lowenstein had kicked her out of the program. It’s not like she needed to attend to class, even if she’d never missed one before.

It had been weeks since she’d left Eichenhouse without looking back, still in shock when she arrived home. Back in her room, she’d finally given in. She’d cried. She’d broken her promise. One bottle, then two, and the rest followed, as it all spiraled downwards. She sank right back into that familiar dark place.

She turned off her phone, and didn’t check her mail. The door phone never rang. Nobody came to visit her, so she was incommunicated for weeks.

She dreamed of Allison every single night. She cried and cried until the tears stopped coming, until she felt numb physically and emotionally. She felt gross, too. She stopped taking care of herself. She couldn’t stomach a single type of food. Barely drank any other than alcohol.

The only thing that took her out of her apartment was running out. She had already spent her secret stash.

She usually went to the small store across the street, and had worried the owner. Luckily for her, they didn’t have enough mutual trust for him to say anything.

She found herself looking through the window through an empty bottle of wine, stare absent. She put it down in the sink, with the others. She realized had run out again, but this time the store was closed. It was too late.

She couldn’t sleep, though. She didn’t want to. She’d been voluntarily avoiding it as much as possible, because sleeping meant going back to the nightmares. As horrible as it felt, the waking world was more of a refuge.

She knew she would eventually have to get her shit together, but not that night. She put on an old, worn-out tracksuit, sneakers, and left. She carried only her key and a few bills in her pocket.

Being outside did not make her anxious, but it was the dead of the night, and the streets she had to take to the other closest liquor store were not the best in town. She found herself walking faster without intending to, turning around the corner too quickly under dim streetlights. She looked warily at a drunken passerby, and her stomach felt more upset each second. She felt a cramp, remembered she was about to have her period.

Lydia particularly hated the neighborhood close to her apartment, for how it stank. She looked up, towards the clouded night sky and the full moon. If she didn’t look at the ground, perhaps she could pretend the odor of dried piss and vomit wasn’t there.

She felt a soft breeze after she took the last turn. The street was completely silent. She marched on, looking down at her own steps in the wet pavement.

 She tried to scream when she was suddenly grabbed from behind, taken into a dark alley, but there was a big hand over her mouth. A black silhouette was all she saw before she found herself dragged past an abandoned building’s threshold. Her plastic bag fell inside the ruined room, with the bottle inside. It made noise, but didn’t break.

She felt a familiar laughter on her neck, and the vibration made her shudder.

It couldn’t be…

“Now, you don’t go out much these days, do you?”, Theo’s unmistakable voice mocked. He took his hand off her mouth.

“I must be dreaming”, she whispered.

She felt light-headed. Sometimes, when she was insomniac, she couldn’t tell the difference between reality and dreams, and it was terrifying. It happened a lot when she was drunk.

However, the cold metal of a blade against her neck gave her a primal awareness that it was _very_ real. A warning from her core, struggling for survival.

She tried to scream, but he quickly put his hand back on her mouth, suffocating the sound. When she tried to squirm away, Theo whispered into her ear.

“Quiet, quiet, I don’t want to use the knife on you. That’s not what I’m here for.”

Her struggle quickly subsided. She was exhausted. After the initial boost of adrenaline, the dreadful apathy that claimed her mood took hold of her again. She let out a deep breath, tried to calm down.

“Can I take my hand off or will you make me test the blade?”, he asked threateningly.

She nodded. He took his hand off.

Quickly, he turned her around, and pushed her against the wall. He pinned her wrists over her head, with one hand, and held the knife tightly in the other.

“Why are you even here?”, she asked, sounding desperate.

He looked amused. “Didn’t Lowen tell you?”

She slowly denied with her head.

“I’m on parole”, he said roughly, “ _I am_ _free_ ”

She swallowed.

“He did it, Lydia”, Theo remarked, “He’s confident I can be functional.”

“But why are you _here_?”, she repeated. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it out loud.

“Oh”, Theo laughed, “you must be wondering about this”, he said, raising the knife and holding it close to her face. Too close for comfort.

“I’m not going to kill you”, he assured, leaning in.

He placed the knife against her neck again, and looked up on instinct. He traced her pulsating skin with the edge, looking mesmerized at how delicate and pale it was.

“There’s something else I want”, he said, suddenly dropping the knife, and placing a hand over her crotch.

She jumped as the object hit the ground with a _clack_.

“You’re going to rape me”, she said, voice shaky, “because I set you up?”

He laughed again.

“Is that what you fantasize about? No, I’m not going to _rape_ you. Because you’re going to want it”, he said confidently, looking directly at her.

She closed her eyes. Theo let go of her wrists, taking a step back. He took her bag from the ground, rummaging through its contents. When he saw the bottle of wine, he talked to her again.

“I was just gonna drop and say hi, but I come across this fucking mess”, he continued, “you look pathetic”.

She looked at the bottle, and he let out a sigh. Theo threw it against the wall, shattering it into a hundred tiny pieces and losing all the wine. She flinched; at the loss of alcohol or at the sudden noise, she did not know.

He looked at her, this time with a much more serious expression.

“Get your shit together. Study, go to class. _Function_ , Mrs Martin. And take your pills.”

She didn’t say anything, just put her head down, looking lost.

“We’ll meet again soon, I promise. Be ready.”, he said, slapping her cheek softly and startling her a last time.

In only a few seconds, there was no trace of Theo. He hadn’t left marks on her wrists.

*

After that, inexplicably, Lydia didn’t actually _want_ to drink anymore. She got rid of all the alcohol, cleaned her house, showered and went to sleep. Her nights were dreamless, and she found comfort in the nothingness.

Next Monday, she went to class. Even if she sat on the back, she felt like it was a step closer towards some kind of improvement. Lowenstein’s gaze lingered on her at the end of the class, but neither approached to say anything. He wasn’t ready to forgive her yet.

She went to the library and caught up with a few other classmates on what she’d missed. She used an excuse, that she’d been out of town because of a grandparent. Lowenstein wasn’t anything if not discreet, and that she could count on.

Lydia felt nervous on the way home, though, but it was not the same kind of anxiety she’d felt before. She was taking her pills again, and she did feel better. It was some sort of sick _anticipation_ – she knew all about Theo was _wrong_ , and that she still had to bring him down at all costs, but for that she had to have something against him. And the only way to do that, at the moment, was quite dangerous.

 She had to let him come to her.

All that she wanted was a heads up. Because, at the end, she knew she was in the biggest disadvantage. She hated him with a passion, but she couldn’t deny to herself that it was tempting to follow his game. Perhaps, at some point, she could lead him on.

She was moderately sure he wouldn’t hurt her; not immediately, because he’d already had more than a chance to do it. But her most dire weakness was not physical. She knew he knew things about her. How had he known about her pills? Did he mean her antidepressants, or was it a sick comment on contraceptives that she was reading so much into? Did Lowenstein spill too much on her past?

Did he know both, and wanted to make her confused on purpose?

When she shut the door to her apartment, though, Lydia felt safe. She had also been keeping more than en eye on the less transited streets, and keeping a pepper spray with her, just because. There was a line that she wasn’t willing to let Theo cross again.

“You’re home early”, a voice said.

Theo came out of the kitchen, strolling leisurely into the living room. He took a bite of one of the apples she’d just placed that morning on the fruit bowl. He looked completely different from the way she remembered him. His hair was gelled, he was shaven clean, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, the last thing she’d have pictured him in.

She dropped her grocery bags, letting out a scream of surprise.

“What the fuck?”, she managed to say.

“I told you I’d come”, he reminded her, “saw you got your shit together”, he pointed, raising his eyebrows.

He walked up to her, and offered the apple.

She didn’t feel nearly as threatened as she should, and she questioned her own sanity at the realization. She stared perplex at the apple before rejecting it with her hand. She took back her groceries and walked past him, towards the kitchen.

“Coming into my apartment without my consent is a crime. I should call the police”, she replied instead, but it sounded more petty than menacing.

She heard the thud of the apple falling into the bin. She distracted herself by placing the new food on the counter, spreading it over the empty space close to the sink: tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, potatoes…

“You’re not invited to st-“, she started saying loudly, turning around to face Theo, when she realized that he was right behind her.

“Oh, but I’m already here”, he cut her with a smug smile, placing his arms around her.

He rested open palms on the edges of the counter, encircling her. Her back hit the cold marble when she tried to get away, but there was nowhere to go.

“Get away from me”, she said, pushing him. Her clumsy struggle only managed to unbutton the top of his shirt.

He leaned in, instead, grabbing her forearms and holding them securely against the stone. He breathed in her shampoo, and she could see his short hair up close. She wanted to run her fingers through it. When he was close enough, their hips flush, she felt the outline of his erection against her thigh. She inhaled sharply.

“I hate you”, she said, trying to break free. He let her left arm go, and she pressed her hand against his chest. It was futile.  

He used the free hand to hold her head, fingers scraping her nape. He tugged on her hair, not too strong for it to hurt, but firmly enough, and tilted her head so he could sniff better. She let out a moan when he mouthed at the side of her neck, licking up her jaw. Then, he whispered right into her ear.

“Why do you hate me so much?”, he asked, “You’ve killed one person, too.”

It felt like a punch to the stomach. He knew about Allison. She blamed herself enough already, beyond what was rational, without a monster trying to fuck with her head. It had been an accident. An unfortunate accident. That’s what everybody had told her, and what she’d chosen to believe, to be able to live, for her conscience not to drag her down and destroy her.

“Fuck you”, she whispered, even though she wanted to scream.

He was licking her skin again; her jaw, down her throat, worrying a bruise over her collarbone. He hooked his fingers into the collar of her dress, pulling down so he could have better access to her cleavage.

“We’re not the same”, she said again, voice clear this time, “I didn’t choose to kill her. I didn’t want to kill her.”

 _I cared_ , she thought. She didn’t need to justify herself to him. She did not. His judgment could not affect her.

She was only in lust, after all.

“Is that the lie you tell to yourself”, he whispered back, dragging his teeth down the top of her breast, “That you didn’t choose to drink, you didn’t choose to drive…”

She let out a sudden cry when he bit down on her nipple, vibration sending a spark of pleasure through her body. She was so wet.

But she was also crying, silent sobs making her shake.

“We’re not the same”, he echoed, coming up to meet her eyes again, and turning her head so she looked at him, “You have to lie to yourself so the voice lets you sleep”, he said, then got close to her lips, “I don’t have a voice, so I live.”

She fisted the front of his shirt as they kissed. It was not tender. His tongue made its way into her mouth; fast, demanding, rough. Soon, she was clutching to his shoulders, and when she finally gave in, she ran her fingers though his short hair. She scratched his scalp, while the other hand squeezed his rock hard biceps.

In retaliation, he grabbed her by the hips. He raised her and dropped her again on the counter, pushing away all the vegetable packs she had bought. Some fell right into the sink; others to the ground, as they made much-needed room for her.

Theo unbuttoned and took off his own shirt with urgency, barely breaking the kiss. When he was done she brought him down over the counter, over her. They kissed deeply as she undid his zipper, and he pushed up her dress to take off her panties. She kicked off her own shoes.

Just like that, she was ready. And Theo didn’t lose any time.

He pushed inside her brutally, letting out a shout of satisfaction, while she screamed back and scratched down his bare back. Her nails drew blood, and he broke the kiss to laugh, breath so close to her face. She looked at him as he thrust inside her with an unrelenting pace.

“I hope you took the pills”, he spat out, “I don’t want to have kids with you.”

She’d have replied, but she was too far gone to care for his being a little shit. She let Theo fuck her into oblivion, getting lost in the sensation of being filled up, just like she’d fantasized about. Just like he’d promised he’d deliver.

He didn’t last that long, but it was long enough for her to come.

*

Theo took the last step of the stairs in School of Medicine building, seeing a flock of students coming out. Classes were over.

The sky was blue, and it was a radiant day. He liked being free. Food didn’t taste the same. He liked being able to do whatever he wanted, things as simple as buying clothes, which they rarely let them do back in Eichenhouse. He missed few things from there.

So he’d gone shopping. That day, he was wearing a black leather jacket. He’d let a shadow of scruff grow, and kept the hair gel.  Yes, being free was awesome.

If anything, he should be thankful to Lydia; she had precipitated his parole, even though she’d tried to do the exact opposite. And now that she was out and had understood how helpless she was against him, she was a good fuck. They’d kept up _seeing_ each other several times a week. He showed up in her apartment, and she said the less they talked about it, the better.

 The young woman walked directly towards him, but didn’t notice Theo until she looked up from her phone. She frowned, stopping with too much distance between them. She looked pointedly at the paper bag he was holding.

“Why the hell are you here?”, she asked, looking around suspiciously, “And what is that? We’re not a couple, Theo.”

He laughed loudly at that, making her wince.

“Self-important much? No, I’m not your _boyfriend_ ”, he said, like the word was an insult, “I’m here for Lowenstein, actually. Brought him a present. Figured he’d be in his office after class.”

Lydia raised her eyebrows, letting out a sigh.

“Okay, well, you should get going then”, she said dismissively.

Lydia tried to walk away, pacing quickly past him.

“Wait”, he said, extending an arm and intercepting her.

The gesture made her stop right by his side, before she could hit his arm. He turned his head to look at her.

“I knew I’d come across you on your way to the library. I got you a little something, in fact.”

She side-eyed him warily as he just took something from one of his pockets and placed it in her hand. It was a very soft fabric…

“Pink lace panties?!”, she said loudly, looking around nervously again, “What the fuck ,Theo?”

There was a light blush on her cheek. He licked his bottom lip, looking at her lewdly.

“Wear them tonight”, he said, the tone of a command.

Theo took off in the opposite direction of the students, leaving her with panties in hand. She quickly put them in her purse, to make sure nobody saw.

*

Lydia let out a series of moans as Theo rolled his hips rhythmically, fucking the gentlest they had yet, in missionary. They were on her bed this time, which was much more comfortable than the kitchen counter.

They came at the same time, being loud together. They held to each other for the afterglow, and later Theo didn’t get off her. Instead, he started kissing down her naked, sweaty body, nibbling her jaw and peppering kisses down her neck.

When he was about to kiss her in the mouth, she rejected him. He looked at her sad.

“I just need to know”, she said, already cursing herself for ruining the moment, “You said you’d killed one person. Didn’t you kill Malia Tate?”

Theo let out a sigh, rolling off her and lying next to her in the bed. They both stared at the ceiling, completely naked by each other’s side. It made him feel weirdly exposed.

“You don’t let one slip, huh?”, he said, looking side-ways at her, “I’ll be sincere with you. Why not, I guess, nobody will believe you.”

She turned her head to face him. Her expression was unreadable when he turned his, too, and their gazes locked.

“I did not kill Malia”, he said clearly, and his expression quickly changed into a smile, “just like I did not kill my father. I didn’t have to… they did it themselves.”

Lydia couldn’t help the hint of a smirk, that she quickly tried to hide. Theo picked up on it, though, and squinted his eyes.

“Oh, I guess you asked because of…”, he said, rolling and reaching towards the nightstand.

He picked up a plug from the space between two drawers, and then continued, “…this?”

Lydia sat up on the bed brusquely, taking the sheets to cover up her breasts. She looked at him with caution, expression blank.

Theo tutted as he tilted his head, looking at her. He didn’t seem angry.

“That you have no credibility doesn’t mean I’m not cautious”, he said, “I have my own ways, too”, he said, looking at the window.

Lydia followed his eyes, creeped out by his silent smile. She didn’t see anything.

“Oh, no, of course I’m not going to tell you where it is”, he laughed, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

He made a fist, crushing the tiny sound recording device with a single hand.

“I must say I’m disappointed. I thought we were opening up to each other”, he added, fake sadness in his voice.

She threw a pillow at him, furious, and kicked him out after she’d put on a robe. She was sick of him outdoing her every single time.

Later that night, she turned her room upside down, and finally found the camera. It was hidden between two photographs in one of the shelves. A faint red light was still on. It had an amazing angle. She felt so furious at the realization he had them fucking on tape that she threw one of the photographs to the floor. It broke.

She realized belatedly it was one of her photographs with Allison, back from when they were only teenagers. They looked happy, but both smiles in the young lively girls were long lost. She felt a pang of guilt as she looked at the shards.

When she looked back at the camera device, the red light was gone.

*

“…not in your wildest dreams”, she blurted out furiously.

“For fuck’s sake, calm down, Lydia. I just suggested anal sex, it’s not a big deal... I just miss Stiles’s tight little ass, what can I say”, Theo replied with far too much glee.

“Why don’t you go bother someone else?”, she said, calmer this time.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have too many friends”, he pointed, “I’ve just _reinserted_ ”

“And I wonder why that is”, she said, looking thoughtful, “Oh, wait, I bet it’s because you only care for yourself, and are a fucking violent parasite?”

 He looked up at that, and his expression changed. His smile was erased by an ugly anger. She took a step back on instinct and swallowed with difficulty. She had never seen him like that. She’d never gotten to him.

Theo didn’t move towards her, though, and instead clenched his fists. He bit his lip, shying his gaze away before looking at her again.

“I’m fucking trying, okay?”, he shouted, “You like to shove how wonderfully caring everyone is on my face all day, how broken I am, so tell me, what would _you_ do in _my_ place? I was born like this!”

She didn’t know what to say, but she felt suddenly terrible about it. Even if he was just trying to mess with her further, he was right.

“Why don’t you just say it straight, nothing I do will ever be enough for you”, he added, deflating, “You’ve hated me since the day we met, and made your mission to make sure I don’t see the light of day, and what have I done? I’ve just defended myself. Not only from you. All my life. Defending myself from all the dumb, average people that just would not understand. They would be scared and want me dead if they knew the truth, just like you. And the one person who trusts me… you tried to turn against me. And I still try, with you. How can you not see _that_?”, he ranted.

“I should go”, he added in an afterthought, sighing, and left the kitchen.

He was already at the door when Lydia reacted.

“Theo, wait”, she said, following after him, “I don’t want you dead.”

He stopped on his steps, but he didn’t look back. After a moment of silence, Lydia let out a deep sigh. Her eyes felt watery.

“Me and Lowenstein are talking again. He told me you’re trying to reconnect with your mother. That you visited her with Parrish. He thinks it could be positive for you both, I…”

He turned around, still bitter, “You’re concerned Lowenstein has no idea and I’m actually out to torture her.”

“No!”, she screamed, surprising them both. They looked at each other with wide eyes, and the distance between them felt unbridgeable.

 “I don’t know anymore. I’m just so vulnerable around you, it could never work.”

“Perhaps I have been unfair”, she adds in an afterthought, not daring look at him.

“Or perhaps you’re right”, he countered, “I’m a monster and I’ve just gas-lighted you enough to take advantage. And I get a sadistic pleasure from torturing my mother with my mere existence”, he replied deadpan.

“Are you?”, she asked, with uncertainty in her eyes.

It was a plea.

“What are you after?”, she asked, taking a step towards him.

But Theo took a step back, this time, looking betrayed.

“Now you wonder? You don’t even know where I live, Lydia. Know what, not everybody is born flawless. Not everybody has a mission in this world. Even if you’ve made yours some kind of dumb justice”, he spat, “I guess some day we’ll find out.”

She tried to reach out to him, but he closed the door on her face.

Lydia was left her alone in her apartment. She hadn’t felt so empty, scared and guilty since Allison’s death.


	5. 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo gives Lydia a final gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update in this verse. I hope you liked, and I'd love to hear if you did :) 
> 
> Trigger warning in the end notes.

A week went by without Lydia seeing Theo, and when she finally did, it was not at home. She was coming out of class when he walked past her.

His expression had hardened. Theo wore a tight black T-shirt under a vest, in contrast with the bare white skin in his arms and face. His muscles were tense, and there was a coldness in the beautiful grayish blue of his eyes. He didn’t even bother to look her way.

She didn’t try to stop him, either. But it hurt. She had her selfish sorrow, and he had his narcissistic anger.

Was it all that different, if it meant suffering all the same? Was there the slightest chance she had been wrong, that she could’ve made it better, and she’d squandered the opportunity? Even if it had only affected them two, the uncertainty consumed her. 

She wanted to talk to Lowenstein about it. But for that, she needed him to believe her, and he was unable to. Not after what she’d done, and she understood. But even if he could, she didn’t know that she would bring herself to sabotaging Theo at that point. Was it worth it anymore?

She remembered his words.

_I guess some day we’ll find out._

Little did Lydia know the day had come.

*

Theo looked up at the bulky man who stood by the library door. He crossed his arms and looked down at the younger man with impatience, though he hadn’t said anything yet.

“Doesn’t campus security come in pairs?”, he asked.

“Yeah well, my friend’s out for coffee, sue us”, the man blurted defensively.

“Actually, good for him”, Theo stated.

The man raised his eyebrow. Theo took his gun out from an inside pocket in his vest, and the man flailed before he put a bullet in his forehead. His pulse didn’t shake, intention unwavering, and grip tight on the weapon.

The sound caught the attention of everybody inside the quiet library, which fell truly silent afterwards. Theo moved towards the door and shut it, turning around then to face his public.

“I’ll be the one in charge of the library this morning”, he said amused, “Now, I want everyone to sit on the floor and be very quiet.”

There was a scream, and he saw movement over the deep end of the room. A man was headed towards a window. He aimed and shot, and it was followed by more screaming, but no more motion.

“Two”, he said.

There was a brief commotion as everybody sat down, the sounds of chairs being pushed away and squeaking against the floor. Everything felt silent again after a few seconds. 

He strode towards the information desk, not looking at the dozens of people that had been sitting at the tables on his sides. They avoided looking at him, too.

When he reached his destination, he found a young black-haired woman. She was probably not a librarian, and just a student. She looked young as she cowered on the chair. Her teeth were chattering, and she gave him a look of pure terror, as she shut her legs tight.

“I said on the _floor_ ”, he repeated evenly, aiming at her face and pulling the trigger.

Her body made a thud as it hit the ground, cushioned by the coat it dragged.

“Three”, he told himself with a smile.

Theo turned around, looking back at the closed door, “that’s better.”

The students shied away their gazes. Another girl in particular covered her ears with her hands and looked down. She crossed her legs on the floor, trying to take up as little space as possible.

Theo walked right towards her and stopped on his steps. After a moment, he crouched, playing with the gun between his hands.

She slowly looked up at him, a pleading look in her eyes.

“ _I knew her_. _Please_ ”, she whispered.

He smiled, and slowly raised the gun. He put the barrel at the top of her nose, right between her eyes.

“I said _quiet_ ”, he repeated, and shot.

Not a single sound was heard afterwards, until he broke the silence himself.

“Four”, he announced deadpan.

He stood up again, shaking the dust off his jeans as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Don’t make me lose my patience”, he warned, “sit on the floor, and be quiet”, he explained again, “if you don’t move, no one else will die.”

He was lying.

*

Lydia quickly noticed something was wrong.

She had just come out of the coffee shop, drink in hand,  and intended to head home. However, a bunch of girls from her class crossed campus in the same direction. One hit her in the shoulder, making her drop the cup. She was about to protest when she noticed they were crying, two of them comforting the one in the middle.

Four jock-looking guys were coming in the opposite direction, heading towards the library. She looked back and observed every person was either getting to the library or running away from it, but doing so fast.

She stopped one of the guys, yanking his arm.

“Hey, care to tell me what’s going on?”, she spat out in a not-so-friendly tone.

The boy frowned at her.

“Haven’t you heard? There’s a shooting in the library. We think it’s a terrorist attack”, he added. 

A feeling of dread settled in her stomach. She let go of his arm, and they got away.

*

Theo patrolled between the tables. Some of the students had wanted to be heroes. Those did not make it. Some others were so scared that they couldn’t help the sobs that escaped them. Those did not make it, either.

“ _What is your name_?”, he asked a young boy for the second name.

“Liam. Why are you doing this?”, the boy replied, still looking down.

“Twenty one”, he said, as he shot him in the nape.

He closed his eyes as blood splattered all over his cheeks and nose. He blinked afterwards, and licked some that had landed on his lower lip.

“Why the hell not”, he added in an afterthought.

The loudspeakers turned on, and after a moment of noisy ecstatic, a confident voice came through.

_“Sir, there will be a whole team at the door in five minutes. Hand yourself in and no one has to get hurt.”_

“Five minutes is a lot of time”, he laughed for his public, “and I still have enough bullets to reload. Don’t get any ideas”, he said to nobody in particular, looking around.

“Don’t be like _Liam_ ”, he pointed.

Theo heard someone hyperventilate. Another panicked kid. If he could help put an end to it, it would be a cruelty not to.

 _Twenty two_ , he anticipated, as he followed the sound.

*

As Lydia was headed towards the library, she saw a police car driving past her. It drove fast between the other cars that made place for it, in the road, with sirens on.

Inside came Sheriff Stilinski and his deputies.

*

The loudspeakers blared again, but Theo ignored it.

Instead, he walked towards the information desk, and stopped  there briefly. He left his handwork discreetly, and then he finally returned to the door. He stopped an inch away from it, with an ear close to the wood. He heard voices coming through, and one soon took protagonism over the rest.

“SIR, WE NEED TO NEGOTIATE”, a man’s voice shouted, “WHAT IS IT YOU WANT?”

He smiled to himself. He turned around, giving his back to the door, and faced the closest person to it. The boy looked back at him, and when their gazes locked he was frightened. The boy crossed his arms over his chest defensively, trying to stand up on the wall.

“No, d- dude, you should list-“, he tried to say, desperate.

“Thirty four”, Theo said loudly, as he shot him down. 

*

 _Thirty four_ , came a voice from inside the library, with another shot.

“There’s no time to negotiate”, Sheriff Stilinski urged his deputies.

They stood in a circle close to him; Parrish, Clark, and three others.

“We have to get inside right now. Every minute that goes  by, he may be killing someone else. I think he’s doing it at random. There’s no struggle”, he explained.

“We cannot wait anymore”, he concluded vehemently, as he fixed them with a severe look.

Both Clark and Parrish nodded, and they walked over to their agreed marks with the rest of the team. There were two on each side of the door, Parrish almost in front of it. There was nobody else but them; the building had been cleared.

“SIR, YOU HAVE TO STOP NOW”, Sheriff Stilinski shouted.

He nodded at his deputies right afterwards. It was the signal, and they started the countdown.

_Three…_

_Two…_

The door half-opened.

A boy fell to the floor, kicked by Theo. He stomped on him, so the space was blocked by his body, while he held another student by the arm and pushed him out in front of him. He held the gun to the boy’s temple from behind. There was a girl behind them three, too.

Parrish’s eyes opened wide. He was the only one who had the right angle to see him fully. And Theo could tell he struggled to believe. It took him a few seconds to raise the gun, dragging his thumb across the metal.

“What’s your name, sweetie”, Theo asked, briefly turning back his head.

A shaky voice replied, “Tracy”

“Drop the gun!”, Stilinski urged. Theo ignored him.

“And you?”, he asked then, pressing the barrel to the boy he was holding.

He closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath, “Corey. Please, don’t kill me”, he begged, as tears slid down his cheeks.

“And you?”, he asked finally, stepping with more intent and crushing the third boy beneath his foot.

“DROP THE GUN NOW, OR I’LL SHOOT!”, Parrish repeated, louder but less confident.

“J-Josh”, he said, as a lungful of air was forced out of him.

“Theo, please!”, Parrish added, in a completely different tone. He bit his lip.

“Good”, Theo said cheerfully, still ignoring him, “Are you three friends?”

 “No”, Tracy replied behind him.

Theo looked at Parrish directly, “Ah, I guess it’s not as dramatic then.”

Parrish raised his eyebrows as he shrugged, looking back at Tracy again.

“Here, take this”, Theo said.

Tracy’s eyes opened wide when she grabbed the barrel. Theo pulled the trigger, shooting her in the chest.

She let out a scream and went down. Theo dropped the gun at the same time, and it made a _clack_ when it connected with the hard floor of the library. Theo had already turned around.

He intended to use Corey as a shield, but the policemen hadn’t fired. So he looked back at Parrish, squeezing Corey’s shoulders and breathing close to the shell of his ear. The boy shuddered as the deputies reached for them.

“It’s okay”, he said, “You’re safe now.”

Corey side-eyed him, warily, but Theo shoved him aside.

“I was almost done, you guys are _so_ impatient”, he added annoyed, as he raised his arms and showed them his palms. They were empty.

“Quickly, get inside!”, Sheriff Stilinski said, as every one of his deputies went past Theo.

 Everyone but Parrish, who stopped right before him. Instead, he turned Theo around and yanked his arms painfully. Twisting them behind his back, he handcuffed him. When the metal clicked, he turned Theo around again, to face him, and shoved him against the nearest wall.

He couldn’t avoid making it personal. Theo enjoyed that.

“Why?”, Parrish asked, tears pooling in his eyes.

 He pushed Theo’s shoulders against the wall with rage, and again more violently when he didn’t reply. He let himself be manhandled.

“Answer me”, he screamed.

Sheriff Stilinski was about to walk in when they heard someone yelling inside. Both Theo and Parrish turned their head to the side, distracted.

A voice inside tried to warn them.

“THERE’S A-“, but it was cut. A loud explosion deafened the words.

The blast shattered every window in the library, killing almost everybody inside instantly. A cloud of smoke came out as it sent the doors flying away, avoiding the Sheriff by a small margin. The wave pushed him back and made him fall. 

“I said almost”, Theo told Parrish, smiling.

Parrish looked at him with hatred, but still walked away to attend the Sheriff. The man was already trying to get up, coughing the smoke.

“I’m fine, I’m fine”, he said, “Don’t let him escape.”

Theo didn’t move.

*

Lydia was among the crowd outside the library when Theo made an appearance, escorted by deputy Parrish. Their pace wasn’t fast, and Parrish’s eyes were injected in red. Both were covered in soot, and Theo still had droplets of blood over his face, as well as dried stains on his T-shirt. She remembered him from that morning, and he no longer had the vest on.  

Some of the people were silent, while others spat out insults in frustration, but Theo just looked at them all like he owned them. He didn’t shy his gaze away once, and nothing erased his ruthless smile. The thought that she’d found it charming once, that she’d slept with him, made her sick to the core. And ins pite of all, she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

Against all odds, she realized she felt responsible. His actions looked so purposeless and random, yet she struggled to find a meaning. She knew she always wanted to know, even if it hurt. Theo hadn’t known any of those students. Why would he kill them? Why _them_?

Theo noticed her presence, and gave her a last sly smirk before Parrish shut the door of the police car. A few people looked at her, but she didn’t care. She was lost in her own thoughts.

There was something she was missing.

When it clicked, she brought a hand to her mouth. She wished with all her heart to be wrong for once.

*

Lydia ran up the stairs to university, shoes in hand and tears rolling down her cheek. People stared, but she did not care. They just didn’t understand. If only she was wrong…

She implored to the heavens that Theo had not done it. When she burst into Lowenstein’s office, she didn’t want to look. She stared up, slowly, following the sound of ragged breaths.

“No…”, she said, shakily.

The old man was sitting behind his desk, eyes open wide at her arrival. His hands were shaky and bloody, lying on the table, where papers were also stained red.

She realized he’d been stabbed all over the left side of his chest, and the whole abdomen. He was struggling to breathe. Instead of speaking, he gargled, sporting a deep Glasgow smile from ear to ear. She approached him, horrified, and realized he was agonizing. There was nothing to do. Theo’d made sure of that.

She knelt by his side, shaky herself, getting her dress wet from all the blood that had pooled on the floor. She held his hand, feeling a lump on her throat.

“Professor”, she whispered, and rested her head on his thigh.

She started sobbing. A hand found its way to her head, traced her cheeks, and then fingers pressed under her jaw. She realized he was trying to tell her something. Lydia slowly raised her head, and saw the man was staring at the desk with blown pupils.

She stood up slowly. Under his hand, there was a note.

_I’m so sorry. You were right._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**EPILOGUE**

_Years went by, and Lydia wondered every single day if she could have done anything differently to stop what Theo had done. She couldn’t help but feel guilty. She pondered whether, had her not pushed him away, his behavior would have been the same._

_She hadn’t felt proud about being right. She didn’t even know what she’d been right about. She didn’t know what right was, anymore._

_She spent her twenties drowning her sorrows in alcohol, and pushing the people who cared about her away from her life._

_She was obsessed, and she needed to know._

_That is how Lydia found herself visiting Theo in prison. She looked at his face through the glass, a face she thought she’d never see again. Fucked up as it was, she realized she’d missed him._

_“I knew you’d come”, he said, giving her that old knowing smirk._

_She didn’t see the point in beating around the bush. It had been years. They had nothing else to talk about._

_“I need to know”, she stated evenly, “Why?”_

_Theo leaned back, letting out a sigh. He took her in carefully, taking a few seconds to assess her expression before replying. Whatever he thought, he looked satisfied._

_“Same as always. Because I can”, he replied._

_He started laughing afterwards._

_It sounded normal. Not dry, or sick, just joyous. Lydia stared silently. She hated him, and she’d missed hating him too. She needed to put an end to it._

_“We’ll meet again, Lydia”, Theo said with derision._

_A fury coursed through her as she took her purse, getting up and storming out. She had lost years of her life, almost her mind, all for a sick bastard. She was sick of him playing with his head; that she’d be determined and sure one second, and all it took was his voice to turn all truth upside down._

_Even if she had been right all along, it didn’t make her feel better, and it didn’t bring anybody back to life. When the anger had subsided, she felt a nothingness again._

_She realized she had stopped caring, too. She didn’t dream of Allison anymore, though sometimes she heard her voice, awake. She didn’t want to be around anyone. Nothing seemed interesting anymore. No one had taken that much space in her mind, ever._

_No one but him. And she knew they wouldn’t meet again._

_Until, one day, she read something in the news and understood. For the first time in years, she felt something. A familiar shiver._

Five inmates break out of local prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: MASS SHOOTING.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you liked, I'd love to know what you think of it!


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